Instant

-


I remember this moment like it just happened. Wayne captured this image the second after they laid Matthew on my chest. Hs is beautiful. A perfect, tiny form. So helpless. I love newborns. I like the way they smell, their hands, their little noises, the cute way they stretch and their tiny round backs. Amazing in so many little ways.

My baby is growing up. He's 18 months and I'm not letting his father cut his hair. He won't be my baby anymore with a buzz cut! I want to keep him little for as long as I can. He's different than the others. He can't help it, he didn't ask to be born last.

I don't want to be in a hurry when it comes to my children. I know I can't push pause or slow motion. When Abby was very little I was impatient for her to talk. To walk. To wean. To eat solids. To eat unassisted. To dress herself. On and on it went. It went fast. Not because I sped it up, but because I was in a hurry to get these things over with. I wanted to move onto the next step.

Today I said good-bye to her for a few days, she is staying with family. I noticed the hug she gave me was extra long. I'll take them as often as I can. I know the next 10 years of her life will pass even faster than the first. Someday I will hug her to say good-bye as she goes away for a longer period of time. I'm not going to dwell on that. Today I'm going to hug her tight and be in this moment. It seems these days they grow up in an instant.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

April 18, 1984

-
Image
I awake in a bit of a fog, only slightly aware of the telephone ringing.  We got in late last night.  Long past our bedtime.  I can hear my father in the kitchen, his muffled conversation floating upstairs to my room.  It's just before 8.  We've slept in.  I'll have to rush to get ready for school this morning.  My father slowly climbs the stairs and I turn to see him enter my bedroom.  He is tired and carries a strange expression on his face.  He reaches my bedside and takes a seat.  He isn't looking at me, but out my bedroom window to the hillside and winding road.  When he faces me again tears have formed in his eyes.  He covers my hand with his and tells me my mother is gone.  His words get lost in a sudden release of grief.  I turn my head into my pillow, tears flowing.  I'm not completely certain of what he's said, I'm hoping I've misunderstood, but know...
Read more

Twenty Seven Years

-
Image
My first birthday Normally I see this day coming and anticipate it. Today it caught me by surprise. I love this picture of her, although I can't remember her this way. When I remember her last she looked so very different. I have a picture that was taken a few months before she passed away, but I like this one better. Funny, this picture was taken roughly 10 years before she died. I think I need to come back and post this later, it's still early in the day and I need to make it through before I land in a heap thinking about her..... I'm so thankful for my Mom. For the memories I have of her. I think my favourite memory is from when I was 7, 8 or 9, I'm not really sure. Jamie and I had returned to New Glasgow for a weekend to visit friends we had left behind when we moved. I don't know that I was ever away from her. I do remember vividly Saturday night, I was so lonesome for her. There was a snow storm raging outside and I was sure I would never get back home. Thing...
Read more

The long way around

-
Image
A little over 2 months ago I blogged about Elias. I told you about our trip to the IWK and how we discovered that what we were dealing with was not "scary". Fast forward to the end of that month and I'll fill you in on what's been happening since.... After his developmental assessment he was scheduled to meet with an occupational therapist because of some fine motor concerns. We met with her twice. On the last appointment she suggested he go see a physical therapist. She thought they would be able to give him some exercises to help him have more "control" over his wobbly legs and arms. We had that appointment at the end of June. I don't think we had been sitting in her exam room more than 20 minutes when she said these words- "I think I know what the problem is". Really? Had I heard her correctly?? She then went on to explain that Elias is hyper-flexible, which would explain why every doctor we've been to has said he has "low t...
Read more