Instant

I remember this moment like it just happened. Wayne captured this image the second after they laid Matthew on my chest. Hs is beautiful. A perfect, tiny form. So helpless. I love newborns. I like the way they smell, their hands, their little noises, the cute way they stretch and their tiny round backs. Amazing in so many little ways.

My baby is growing up. He's 18 months and I'm not letting his father cut his hair. He won't be my baby anymore with a buzz cut! I want to keep him little for as long as I can. He's different than the others. He can't help it, he didn't ask to be born last.

I don't want to be in a hurry when it comes to my children. I know I can't push pause or slow motion. When Abby was very little I was impatient for her to talk. To walk. To wean. To eat solids. To eat unassisted. To dress herself. On and on it went. It went fast. Not because I sped it up, but because I was in a hurry to get these things over with. I wanted to move onto the next step.

Today I said good-bye to her for a few days, she is staying with family. I noticed the hug she gave me was extra long. I'll take them as often as I can. I know the next 10 years of her life will pass even faster than the first. Someday I will hug her to say good-bye as she goes away for a longer period of time. I'm not going to dwell on that. Today I'm going to hug her tight and be in this moment. It seems these days they grow up in an instant.