Extravagant

As I mentioned earlier, I don't recall ever NOT believing in Jesus. However I do remember the morning my father burst into my bedroom exclaiming to me how his life radically changed the night before. His face was beaming. Something was different and my 10 year old sensibilities knew that. He showed me a book, I believe it contained the Gospel of John and also a prayer of committment at the back of it. He told me, "Angie, this will change your life". I guess that's when I "officially" walked through the door of faith.

My faith has been an odd thing at times. For most of my life I've lived under the law even though I was supposed to be free in the Spirit. I was (and still struggle not to be) legalistic. I had lots of knowledge...so I thought. Some of it I actually learned for myself in the Bible. Most was just information I gleaned from pastors, Sunday school teachers and fellow believers. My image of God was flawed. Greatly. I believed in Him, I even sometimes felt love for Him, but so much of the time I was confused by Him. I held God at arm's length. He didn't seem safe to me.

Recently I've had the privilege of growing in my faith with the help of my older brother, Jamie. In April, his wife Kelly had a heart attack. She was 35 and in great health. This brush with the thought of losing his precious bride changed everything. It's like he was picked up, turned around, and set on a different path. His passion for Jesus has made us all want more. He has been quick to share and even directed us to podcasts and books he has been reading, excited to share with us the TRUTH he is learning. One pastor in particular has had a huge influence on his life. So, I began listening too. The curiousity was too great. The changes in Jamie are too huge and too wonderful to ignore. I need this too!!!!

I began listening to a sermon series by Greg Boyd via podcast called "Scandalous Love". I am not able to summarize well what this series was in it's entirety, there was so much. An idiots guide to this series (by moi) is this: we are to be in a convenental relationship with God, Jesus, and Spirit, not simply a contractual one; how if understanding the love of God takes a supernatural revelation of His Spirit to believe it, you know you are learning about the True God. I was particularly blown away by the sermon "Victorious Love". Boyd is explaining how the power of God is in contrast to what we think it should be. He was preaching on John 13:3-5, these were the verses that illuminated how incredible our God is for me.

"Jesus knew that the Father had put all

things under his power, and that he had come from

God and was returning to God; so he got up from the

meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped

a towel around his waist. After that, he poured

water into a basin and began to wash his

disciples feet, drying them with the towel

that was wrapped around him."

Understand this, Jesus had all things under his power and because of this he got up from the meal and washed his disciples feet!!! Really?? He did this....because He had ALL power? This is an incredibly beautiful picture of our God. Jesus is God, if we want to know what God is like we need to look no farther than to Jesus. My God IS this beautiful. This blew me away. When I heard this I wept. For so long I had an image of God as angry, as a cosmic judge waiting to pass judgement on me. I never saw Him as this loving before. It was like a wonderful drink of cold water to my parched soul. Immediately I was released from my prison. I've been amazed at His beauty and hungry to learn more about Him, what He thinks about me and what that means for me on this earth.

This is just a taste of what's been going on inside of me. There is too much to write. Too much has happened since then, I'm overwhelmed by Him. The excitement and passion that was happening to Jamie is now being realized by me. I have a freedom like I never did before. I'm learning how this fits now with who I am. I'm learning about all the misconceptions I had of God and how those things directly impacted how I thought of myself and how I looked at my husband, my children and all my relationships.

The love of God is scandalous, beautiful, amazing, breath-taking, overwhelming, extravagant.