Twenty Seven Years

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My first birthday




Normally I see this day coming and anticipate it. Today it caught me by surprise. I love this picture of her, although I can't remember her this way. When I remember her last she looked so very different. I have a picture that was taken a few months before she passed away, but I like this one better. Funny, this picture was taken roughly 10 years before she died. I think I need to come back and post this later, it's still early in the day and I need to make it through before I land in a heap thinking about her.....

I'm so thankful for my Mom. For the memories I have of her. I think my favourite memory is from when I was 7, 8 or 9, I'm not really sure. Jamie and I had returned to New Glasgow for a weekend to visit friends we had left behind when we moved. I don't know that I was ever away from her. I do remember vividly Saturday night, I was so lonesome for her. There was a snow storm raging outside and I was sure I would never get back home. Things worked out that a family from our neck of the woods happened to be in New Glasgow for a hockey game. We met them there and we drove home in that storm. I remember coming into the house, being very sleepy but knowing that she was waiting for me there. I met her at end of the hallway, she was wearing her rose-coloured housecoat and I can still feel the warmth of her hands on my back as she embraced me. I will never forget that. It's like I'm little all over again and she's comforting me, telling me I'm home. A part of me is still frozen in time, back when she was here and my life was a different mix of things than it is now.

It's odd to think I am that mother to someone(5 someones) now. That they ache for a hug from me like I did from her so long ago. I still long for that hug, I don't think it's a feeling that I will ever lose. Daughters want their mothers to love them, to tell them they are beautiful, lovely, and special. She was a gift. I do miss her so much. The longing for her doesn't come as often as it used to, but the intensity has increased. Perhaps that's because I know now what love she had for me, how hard it must have been for her to know she was not going to be here.

What stirs in my heart most is how furious this love is, but yet how small in comparison to how much my Jesus loves me.

Comments

  1. Sheila PalmerApril 18, 2011 at 11:26 PM

    This is such a lovely post Ang - a beautiful tribute to your beautiful Mom.
    Motherhood really does give us a glimpse at how powerful our perfect heavenly Father's love is for us! Love you!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Amy SavoieApril 19, 2011 at 8:56 AM

    A beautiful rememberance, Angie.

    ReplyDelete
  3. The Sutherland'sApril 19, 2011 at 11:15 AM

    A mothers love endures forever...even when we are no longer near the one's we care so deeply for. I am continually amazed at the woman that God is shaping you in to. You are a beautiful reflection of your mothers love and I feel SO blessed to have you in my life to spur me on and to strive for more!

    ReplyDelete
  4. ADMApril 19, 2011 at 12:35 PM

    Thank you girls!!! :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. UnknownApril 21, 2011 at 11:53 AM

    Thanks for the tears Ang!! I guess I take my mom for granted thanks for opening my eyes....I know how you feel though losing dad was hard though not as young as you were it is never easy...sending you hugs T xx

    ReplyDelete
  6. ADMApril 21, 2011 at 4:05 PM

    Thanks, Trudi. Losing a parent is never an easy thing, no matter what age. I think sometimes I was spared a bit of pain because I was so young and unaware.

    ReplyDelete

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