Day 28 Salvation

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April 18, 1984

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I awake in a bit of a fog, only slightly aware of the telephone ringing.  We got in late last night.  Long past our bedtime.  I can hear my father in the kitchen, his muffled conversation floating upstairs to my room.  It's just before 8.  We've slept in.  I'll have to rush to get ready for school this morning.  My father slowly climbs the stairs and I turn to see him enter my bedroom.  He is tired and carries a strange expression on his face.  He reaches my bedside and takes a seat.  He isn't looking at me, but out my bedroom window to the hillside and winding road.  When he faces me again tears have formed in his eyes.  He covers my hand with his and tells me my mother is gone.  His words get lost in a sudden release of grief.  I turn my head into my pillow, tears flowing.  I'm not completely certain of what he's said, I'm hoping I've misunderstood, but know...
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Twenty Seven Years

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My first birthday Normally I see this day coming and anticipate it. Today it caught me by surprise. I love this picture of her, although I can't remember her this way. When I remember her last she looked so very different. I have a picture that was taken a few months before she passed away, but I like this one better. Funny, this picture was taken roughly 10 years before she died. I think I need to come back and post this later, it's still early in the day and I need to make it through before I land in a heap thinking about her..... I'm so thankful for my Mom. For the memories I have of her. I think my favourite memory is from when I was 7, 8 or 9, I'm not really sure. Jamie and I had returned to New Glasgow for a weekend to visit friends we had left behind when we moved. I don't know that I was ever away from her. I do remember vividly Saturday night, I was so lonesome for her. There was a snow storm raging outside and I was sure I would never get back home. Thing...
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Day 35 Being Held

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Yesterday I learned something I hadn't pieced together before about how God works. Due to circumstances beyond my control, I was alone with the children and had to figure out how to get Elias to outpatients. He had a seizure. I called Kelly for clarity, to calm me down and talk to me. Once I had figured out how I was going to go with all of the kids, I headed for the hospital. I was afraid, tired, sick, and alone. I sat closer to the driver's side window so Abby couldn't see me crying in the rear view mirror. I called out to Jesus, asking Him for peace and assurance. A song* I particularly love came on just then and I immediately was filled with calm. Be assured, I still was uncertain, a little afraid, and I was still crying, but I also had this profound sense of peace in the midst of it. Such a strange mix of emotions. It occurred to me then this is what it means to be held. God was holding me, so even though I was still feeling those other emotions, I could sen...
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