the unexpected God
I've learned a few things over the course of the last number of months. Things you shouldn't do in the midst of uncertainty. I made a list. withdraw eat for comfort- when you are alone, tired, happy, bored or awake hold onto expectation whine about how things used to be be thankless look on the dark side don't ask for help blame God and pout I dwelt in the hopeless land of this list. Blinded by my own self pity and the unwillingness to open my eyes. Fear was the fuel. But a shift occurred late one night while I sat on Abby's bed and listened as she poured out the heartache that we both shared. Two girls, separated by almost 30 years, yet so similar in feeling. It was at that point that I realized I had been choosing fear over faith. Over my life I've mistaken fear for self-reliance. Holding out hope that just getting through would be enough even though my "faith" claimed far more to life than this. When the going got tough,