Two for one posts.

The Puzzle
Perhaps I should fill some of you in on what's been going on in the Murphy household. We've been trying to get a diagnosis for our son, Elias, for the last year or so. We began noticing odd behaviours when he was 2. I, at first, thought it was all in my head. So I asked my SIL, Kelly, to watch him too, to see if her motherly eye would detect it as well. We were camping together, spending lots of time with one another. She saw it too.

Fast forward two years and here we stand, still waiting on a diagnosis. We've taken him for an MRI, xrays, hearing and vision tests, blood work, a developmental assessment, and a lumbar puncture. So far nothing has surfaced. We are waiting on an EEG at the end of May, we'll also learn the results of his LP at this time. We are hopeful, but growing frustrated.

Two weeks ago he had a seizure, something we've never experienced with him. It was upsetting to me to witness. Probably mostly because I was here alone with all of the children and I was running on very little sleep. Last week after his lumbar puncture he fell ill. We spent Thursday through Sunday in the hospital listening to lots of speculation on what was wrong. After 12 doctor type people consulted about him we felt there was still no definitive answer to that. He's a puzzle.

I would like to tell you that I'm not afraid. That I don't worry about him. That I don't fret over the attention he gets while the other 4 are shipped to their Aunt and Nannie's homes. I'd be lying. I do worry about this. I am fearful at times. I wonder what Abby, Aidan, Nason and Matthew think while they are not with us and he is. Sometimes, when I'm doing something very ordinary, all of this will come to me. Teasing me with it's uncertainty. The more we wait and the more things that happen, the more I think on these things.

Then I wake up. Then it dawns on me that while the situation may look very wrong, helpless and frustrating, I belong to a wonderful Savior. I am held by a God who is right here with me, while I wait and worry. He is steadfast through this and I can trust Him. It's by no coincidence that I've learned this trust recently. The timing is perfect. When those taunting and nattering thoughts invade me I can shut them down by simply speaking His name. I hear His voice in my heart, telling me that He loves me with an everlasting love, that I am His child and that He will never leave me or forsake me. That His love for Elias is stronger and deeper than the love I have for him as his Mom. This is comforting. He's holding Elias too.

Gratitude
The last two weeks have been difficult, but we've been so supported by our families. I love them all so dearly. My mother and father (Murphy) came to our aid on Thursday when we didn't know what was going on and were stuck in the emergency room. They looked after Matthew for us. I'm so glad, 10 hours in the emergency room with a 19 month old to chase would have been utter bliss. Nancy, my sister, came to our aid as well. She left work and "moved in" to our home for a day or so to make sure the older kids got to and from school. Then she packed the three boys up and headed to her home with them. I'm afraid we made her sick (literally)-(sorry Nancy! Such is life with the Norton Murphy's, we're good sharers). Thank-you seems like a feeble way to show gratitude to them. I love that even though Wayne and I could not be with them, they were loved and cared for by people who love them as dearly as we do. People who are important to them, who need to be involved. I love that my children have such a caring family!


I know so many people have been praying for us and we're thankful. We could feel those prayers. I love my church family too. Susan and Carman Teakles brought Abby home with them on Friday and she stayed with them until Sunday. They even brought her into visit Elias on Saturday. George Long brought us supper on Sunday night so we wouldn't have to cook when we got home. It was so yummy! Thankfully, there was enough to feed my visiting family too. We were tired, but it was awesome to come home to a full house of family. I'm crazy about them.

Thank-you!