done

I'm so tired of living this way.  Tired of giving something to you only to take it back up again when my gaze shifts to the trouble in front of me.  I'm painfully stubborn.  There is no way I can keep this up.
I hear you whisper to me -  "Won't you just let me love you?"

I'm running around in circles, trying to find the purpose and the constant.  I look to my own vices and solutions, one more feeble than the next.  I can barely put one foot in front of the other.  My back is hunched over from the weight of the monotony of trying to work things out down here.
And still I hear your whisper- "Won't you just let me love you?"

I'm short on patience and long on frustration.  My wants and wishes pile high around me and I complain that things aren't happening quickly enough.  In vain I stomp my feet and hold my breath like a toddler throwing a tantrum.  My emotions are large and I act out of the sudden rushing impulse, determined that I can keep playing the victim of my own life.
And I continue to hear you whisper to me- "Won't you just let me love you?"

I wait to run out of my own weak strength and find you waiting at the end of it.  I'm done.  I collapse into a heap and fall in surrender at Your beautiful feet.  Your kindness always undoes me, when I finally allow your wonderful, sweet whisper to cut through the chaos that swallows me.  This ground I'm laying on is holy.  You tell me I'm lovely and that you delight in me. You fill me with faith.  Your strength is made perfect in my weakness.  I can stop running and fall fully into your unimaginable and constant love.

I want more of you.  Fill me to overflowing.  

Unleash what needs to be unleashed.  Bind what must be bound.  

Grow what cannot remain stagnant any longer.  Break what must be broken.  

Heal what needs to be mended.  Fill me as only You can.  

Amen