In A Field

I remember not too long ago how overwhelmed I was with two children. Then we had 3 more. Five. Sometimes I just can't believe we have that many. It seems like a dream. As we added more children to our family, I slowly began to realise that I was getting lost in the shuffle. I think mothers find it easy to lose themselves when they are in the midst of raising kids. You put their needs ahead of yours. Your time isn't even your own. You can't even go to the bathroom without little knocks (or in my case a head banger) at the door. I am a mother. Sometimes invisible. A homemaker. A dependant. Someone who hides her true self behind the sweet face of a beautiful child. A woman who occasionally leaves the house without having given a second thought to her hairstyle (regrettably). Or wardrobe. Who finds herself swaying back and forth while waiting in line, simply because standing usually means a baby is in her arms. Who says things she never thought she would utter - ...

100km's and counting...it may be time for new one's. I know I'm being restored. That old things are passing away and the new is being birthed in me. After a run the other night it occurred to me how exciting it is that I'm still running after a year and a half. My running is like a physical example of what's happening in my spirit. Let me explain. I've discovered that a good running day most often is the result of what's going on in my head. Will I stick with it or will I only get 1 km and give up. I can defeat myself from the beginning if I believe the lie I can't make it through, that I don't really need to do it, or that it's raining too much (will this never end!!!). Sometimes I am convinced there is something conspiring against me in my endeavor to run. Many times I have set out to run and my ipod will not communicate with my Nike+ sensor. Other times I'll be in a great rhythm and my shoe will come untied or little rocks will wor...

"Let my heart be broken with the things that break God's heart" — Bob Pierce, World Vision founder A few months ago I read a book by Richard Stearns called The Hole in Our Gospel. It is a potentially powerful book. I say potentially because I've heard of people who've read it and weren't impacted. When I read it I was incredibly uncomfortable and challenged. Not in such a way that I was offended at all, if anything I felt convicted about what I was reading. Stearns tells the story of how he came to be the president of World Vision. How this turned his comfortable, American-dream-loving life upside down. Some of what he writes about is very hard to read. I would go to bed at night and dream of the children of Uganda who spend every evening walking miles into the "safety" of city streets to avoid being kidnapped by the Lord's Resistance Army (http://www.warchild.org.uk/issues/the-lords-resistance-army-LRA). In times of prayer I would see an ...

The Puzzle Perhaps I should fill some of you in on what's been going on in the Murphy household. We've been trying to get a diagnosis for our son, Elias, for the last year or so. We began noticing odd behaviours when he was 2. I, at first, thought it was all in my head. So I asked my SIL, Kelly, to watch him too, to see if her motherly eye would detect it as well. We were camping together, spending lots of time with one another. She saw it too. Fast forward two years and here we stand, still waiting on a diagnosis. We've taken him for an MRI, xrays, hearing and vision tests, blood work, a developmental assessment, and a lumbar puncture. So far nothing has surfaced. We are waiting on an EEG at the end of May, we'll also learn the results of his LP at this time. We are hopeful, but growing frustrated. Two weeks ago he had a seizure, something we've never experienced with him. It was upsetting to me to witness. Probably mostly because I was here alone with ...

I went for a run last night. I needed to think. A verse was running through my mind, "Count it all joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance" James 1:2-3. I need to be honest, I could never quite understand the "count it all joy" part. I understand that we are purified by trials, but counting it joy seemed a stretch. Until a light switched on for me while I was running. We aren't crazy people who rejoice because of the trial, counting joy because of suffering. What we take joy in is the opportunity that arises from the trial. The chance to move a little closer to Jesus. The chance to see another aspect of God's character, to see how He will act, how we will act. That's how I see it anyway.